The act of cheating…

Cheating does not happen accidentally, let us throw that myth out the door, it is a choice – whether deliberate or not. One chooses to cheat and many times the significant other is left with the question “why”

Cheating is also not prone to only one gender, both male and female have been found guilty of such acts – some tend to hide it better than the other maybe.


There are two kinds of cheaters – The one-time offenders and the serial cheaters. Your one time offenders are most likely to feel remorseful after the fact, confess and seek forgiveness unlike the serial offender who indulges in cheating like it’s a sport #GoForGold

Now to explore the “why”

Cheating has nothing to do with the one being cheated on, let me re-iterate: To cheat is a choice one makes for themselves!

After speaking to many guys and gals, below are the top reasons:

  • Plain lust, being horny and boring sex
  • It’s a thrill – living on the edge, spontaneity, getting caught
  • Arrogance – being able to have anyone they set their sights on
  • Loss of interest in the partner, seeking to fill a void, feeling unloved or not needed, unhappiness
  • Incapable of being monogamous
  • Attraction to a characteristic the partner lacks or appeals to more than just physical attraction.

Then there is a reason that I never thought of and that is: validation – primarily in men and more the serial offenders. The desire to be liked and attract women is one of the most significant ways through which men are able to validate their masculinity and sense of self-worth.

Their self-worth is placed on desire – when you are desired by many, you become a commodity and in demand and being with one person does not (and cannot) fulfill all that one needs to verify one’s validation and therefore the search for multiple partners commence.

The need for validation and the act of cheating also becomes a never ending search until they search within themselves and attend to the root cause as to what makes one feel inadequate, because that is what it boils down to essentially – inadequacy.

After all is said and done, I now feel more sympathy than anger for the serial offender and to those whom I know to be one of them, I no longer feel disgust, I still don’t want you to touch me, but at least I now have some sort of understanding.

I hope this answered many of you left in the dark and if you have anything to add, feel free to comment below… and/or on the Facebook post 🙂


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