…so he cheated, now what?

Do I even call it cheating? It’s not like we had officiated anything and everything was still very much undercover, however I do recall stating that we would be “exclusive” so a fair amount of loyalty was expected, by me at least…

The challenge is more do you forgive and move on; or do you cut all ties? Every pro-woman post encourages not tolerating any man cheating on you or with you, yet these things happen and are allowed… I figured, our “relationship” was new and he was honest enough to admit to it, even though there was some clever word play on my behalf, and he was drunk… then he vanished…

…by now people need to accept that people talk and although many of my friends will know how extremely private I am, they also know that I am very blunt as well… so myself and colleagues had a very open discussion about the events of him cheating and how I found out… and the guys were all for forgiveness and giving him another chance as “99.95% of all men cheat and your next boyfriend will do the same, so you might as well get used to it” – the laughs we had regarding that statement.

How has cheating on your significant other become such a norm? And how does one deal with it? Does it depend on how much both parties want the relationship to work? And should you decide to work through it, what guarantee is there that it will not happen again?

There was only one way I could deal with the events that unfolded and that was to delete, delete and delete…until 3 months later where I had a stupid dream about how he apologized and wanted to make things right between us… I posted an image about it and only then did I get an apology… not the way it unfolded in my dream, but an apology nonetheless…

I don’t think I will ever understand the need for one person to betray the trust of another, to me it just does not make sense… I fully respect the couples who have had their moments of infidelity and have chosen to work on their relationships, same way I fully respect the men and women who had walked away after such instances… No matter how one chooses to deal with these instances, I feel it takes the same amount of strength and inner reflection regardless… I however cannot respect the individual who stays with their partner after countless and very public instances of infidelity, there is just no respecting that…

I have also learned that you cannot control another individual, you can only control yourself and should there be moments of infidelity don’t ever believe it was something you lacked or had not fulfilled, that is absolute rubbish! Just like you cannot control the next person so too you cannot be accountable or liable for their actions and choices…

These are my thoughts, this is pretty personal, let’s keep it positive…

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “…so he cheated, now what?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s